Grrr- Arrg- And Other Explicative Noises

Adam- oh sweet heaven sent man. Gotta say I adore him more now than ever. Yeah, he's still around. It's a great feeling! The more time I spend with him, the more I like him. All we seem to do is talk and talk and talk and cuddle and talk.... Mmmmmmm. In fact, we talked so much the other weekend on our way up to Gallowglass, we wound up in Wisconsin by accident instead of Rockford, IL. Yeah, it's all good.

The night before last at 02:30 JM calls my phone. I am deep into sleep, trying to break a fever, trying rest and otherwise not wake Adam up with the tossing and turning. JM...... Drunk as ever, but eerily calm drunk, calls my phone. Adam remained remarkably calm, in fact I think he went back to sleep right after I answered the phone. Although, he said something about the next time it happens, he'll happily tell JM to call back later at a respectable hour. Riiiiiiiight. I know if the shoe was the on the other foot, I wouldn't much like that idea of his ex girlfriend calling etc etc etc.

Not sure what to make of the whole ordeal. I just know that I found it disturbing. I couldn't get back to sleep very well, I know I was talking in my sleep, and man was my mind moosh yesterday after all that. What should be more disturbing now? The fact he's called me twice, drunk, and unable to make any kind of sense. Or the fact that he wished me well with Adam and then told me he'd call me when he was ready to talk to me? Both? Neither? And then I wonder how much of this I should talk to Adam about as well. He says I can tell him anything on my mind. I can believe that up to a point, but the where's the line? I'd rather not cross it accidentally.

So, Adam is my guy. I utterly adore him and I'm trying to talk myself into understanding just what it is about the whole JM thing that compels me to see it through to the bitter end. Uh, yeah. Closure or something. Yet, closure could come with a cost, meaning Adam may decide to walk due to JM trying to return to the picture. Grrr- Arrrg-And Other Explicative Noises!

Adam is so sweet, he's reminding me of the first kiss anniversary from 3 weeks ago. October 19th! Yeah baby! It was endearing tonight. The fact we wind up dancing in his kitchen without music is also cute. Not sure what I did to deserve such a cutie. I told him I loved him after the JM call. Talked about it that morning. His response was that it was the closest he'd ever felt to being in love himself. I'm going to go melt now. Too sweet!

~ A Happier Tammolly

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin